What is the longest and truest rant you can come up with?

I wanna hear ^_^What is the longest and truest rant you can come up with?
It sounds like English; it even looks like English, but I can't understand a word you're blabbering. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.





I don't know what makes you such a worthless poster, but it really works! I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? You bring to mind a quote from Josh Billing: ';Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.';





Clearly, you have lost your fingertip grip on reality and have descended into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. You couldn't get a clue during clue mating season in a field of clues if you smeared your body in musk and did the clue mating dance. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. To quote Thomas Brackett Reed: ';They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.';





Calling you dull is a gross underestimation of just how tedious you are. You have the personality of a damp sponge and the appeal of a moldy sweat sock. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't living proof that stupid people should not breed; if your weren't so fat that when you run, you make the CD player skip at the radio station, or if you didn't have a face that makes people ask: ';Damn, is it Halloween already?'; No, come to think of it, you would.





What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting to read? Do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't afflicted with mental retardation; if your weren't so fat that a ';Place Your Billboard Ad Here'; is printed on each of your butt cheeks, or if you didn't have a face that could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck. No, come to think of it, you would.





In closing, why don't you put your glasses on backwards and walk into yourself?








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